In My Company, In Her Company

“I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move.” 
― Robert Louis Stevenson, Travels with a Donkey in the Cevennes

Dancing our night away on Istiklal Avenue in Istanbul, Turkey

I am coming to India.

Not to find myself.

Not to seek out something.

Not to win some bragging rights.

I am coming to India to lose myself. I am coming to see how far I can go in the process of relinquishing the very essence of my being. I am coming to see how alike I am to others if I am to ignore my history, my appearance, my dreams, and especially my identity. 

I am coming to see who I am without my own interference. 

Impossible, eh? Probably, but I'd rather learn what's impossible on my own without others telling me. What's the kind of impossibility that forces me to impose a particular identity upon myself? What would I be if I choose not to allow my fears struggling against my greatness? How nothing I can be? How everything I can be? 

India is chosen not because it is the next country on my list of countries to visit. In fact, if you tell me two years before that I'd be roused up into buying an one-way ticket to India, I'd think you're hysterical. 

India is chosen simply because my intuition is crying out for a more powerful experience, for a more mind-blowing perspective, and especially for a place I never dreamt of visiting. 

To be honest, I am coming to India just because I want to. No fancy reasons. No crazy convictions. 

I just want to come to India, so I am doing it. 

All my life, I've dreamt of following my own whims. A job? A house? Marriage? Family? No, all I ever wanted is to follow my heart's desires, however crazy they might seem.

I have to admit that it took me 25 years to finally muster up the courage to do just this: to be a fool for my heart. 

And never before in my life have I been so firmly convinced that I am making the best decision ever.

I do not know whether this journey will be an easy one or a happy one, but I do know that this journey will be the defining experience that will forever dictate a kind of life I am creating. 

Am I terrified? Absolutely, I have my moments of slapping my forehead and blaming myself for my moment of utter foolishness that led me to have this one-way ticket in my hand right now. 

Am I nervous? No shit. I've fucked up before and I just know I'd fuck up somehow in foreign land.

Am I panicking? Yes.  

Yet we cannot forget that I am not going to India just to get cozy with the world. I am going there to get punched in the face. 

I am excited to see a land I haven't ever seen. I am proud for going this far for myself. I am overflowing with energy to go out and to see the world.

I am just grateful to have an opportunity of following my heart's desires in the company of a friend. Without this friend, my dreams probably would be nothing more than cute fantasies to chuckle about. 

She came into my life without knocking on my door. She just came and lost her keys, bringing us into the chapter of finding the key that resulted into our friendship. 

We both had seen each other through our tears, our smiles and our stories. Through her part in my life, I learned how to allow myself feel the roughness of my life, to recognize the light of my inner beauty, and to be more whole than I pretended to be. 

She pushed me to take several more laps to chase after my dreams. She held my hand and commanded me to respect myself more and to validate every moment of my existence. 

The idea of sharing my journey with her filled in me the excitement of discovering more moments that would honor our ever-blossoming friendship, more challenges to shake our souls, and more joys to share with each other. I am very honored to intertwine my journey with her own journey.

Today is her birthday, and I wish her all the best as she takes a leap that will bring her to the destination of our reunion and that will continue teaching her to bless her own existence as she grows wiser, happier and ever truer to herself with every step, every leap, and every journey she chooses to take. 

Dear Violet, may you have a very happy birthday!

This woman in her element

And see you soon in Mumbai!