Now is the Time

So! 

As some of you have noticed, I basically disappeared from the blogging world after returning home from Europe. 

I was exhausted. Physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. I was quite literally exhausted beyond exhaustion. 

Ten months changed me so much, in nearly every piece within my soul, and I wanted nothing more than re-examining the startling transformation of my soul and how my ten-month trip around the world affected me. My view of the world was altered, and I was terrified, and I wanted to know how and why. 

When Violet and I first started out, we unanimously agreed that we want to explore ourselves and our relations with the world. We wanted so desperately to make this journey our year to remember, to grow, and to discover. We spent our first night together in India discussing our dreams, visions, and so many expectations we had from this journey and from each other. 

Little did we know, this journey was to be our trip to the very essence of our selves. 

Now, before I get ahead of myself, traveling is not necessarily the only path to find the essence of your self. I believe that everyone is always on a journey, orbiting around the essence of themselves with many accidents that abruptly take them to the very core of their souls. We are forever learning, we are forever experiencing, we are forever thinking.

Life is the potential to be fulfilled, an empty classroom whose curriculum is constantly designed and redesigned by the one who chooses the classroom. 

I designated traveling as the class to be taken and learned in the year 2014-2015. 

To be honest, I naively thought I can totally take charge of what I will learn from this journey. 

I was wrong. 

I learned more than I ever expected to learn. I grew more than I ever expected to grow. I went farther than I ever expected to go. 

Traveling is no joke. It is not a break from life. It is a total immersion of life with different responsibilities. Ten months had been one of the most difficult, painful, exhilarating, rich, and beautiful times ever. I will never forget this trip. 

Some lessons were plainly commonsense, but somehow they hit the nerve. Other lessons shook me into the state of sheer astonishment. Many lessons turned my attention to the aspects within myself whose existence I haven't fully realized or forgotten. 

So, yeah, I was changed and it totally unsettled me. 

All of a sudden, I have to start all over in learning who the hell I am. 

Now that I am back in touch with my soul, I am making peace with Elizabeth Version 26.1. 

I am now remembering my childhood passion to be a contributor to the global community. I am now remembering the unsatisfying, impossible-to-fulfill desire to see the world. I am now remembering the importance of listening to my heart. 

The fire within me has been engendered once more, and it is hotter than ever. 

And for the first time in my life, I have enough patience to keep this fire going on, enough experiences to feed branches to the fire, and enough confidence to go near the fire. 

Now is the time to stop being apathetic. Now is the time to push myself out there and fight for my right to be. Now is the time to be me.

I am determined to fulfill my childhood passion. I am more than willing to do anything it takes to keep my heart beating while pursuing my dreams. Even if it means taking opportunities that are not necessarily aligned to my greatest dreams--all I care is to seize these opportunities to learn from them, to connect to others through them, and to see the vision of my dreams better. I am a monkey in the jungle, leaping from a branch to another branch, searching my way out of the jungle. 

What I really, really want to do?

That part, I am not too sure. All I know is that I want to travel the world, to enter as many countries as I could enter, to share my knowledge about community development, and to remain a part of every community around the world. I want to be the ultimate Connector. I want to be the ultimate global contributor of knowledge, of better living, and especially of happiness. 

What a tough dream to achieve. But I believe in myself more than ever, and I vow to continue believing more and more in myself--and in others more and more. 

I want nothing more than lying in my bed many, many years, incredibly ancient, incredibly wise, and incredibly fulfilled as I look back to my life and know I have made my life worthy to be lived and worthy to be a part of other lives. 

I want to live my life passionately, lovingly, and joyfully. 

Here I am, writing my deepest wish with you as my witness. 

I am here to live out my life. I am here to make a difference, however big or small it may be, in this world. I am here to share life with you in every way and in every manner. 

With that being said, I am determined to make this blog useful and informative for you to read. Sometimes I will open my heart to you. Sometimes I will share what I have learned with you. 

All I want is to show you that every life makes a difference in my life and that I am here to make a difference as well.