Thursday, October 23, 2014

In Trying Times, In Jolly Times

           Holy River, Varanasi, India 

It has been over six weeks in India--along with a blessed respite in Nepal. 

That's it, if you trust my feeble awareness of how much time has truly passed.

It feels like five months to me.

I am currently typing this post with an arm still sore for a minor train accident (in which I lamely fell off the bunker and crashed into a gentleman's arms) and with the body and mind somewhat frail from several intense days of being painfully ill from food poisoning.

In one sense, I am a hot mess. 

In other sense, I am having the adventure of a lifetime. 

So, because I am not in my best condition of reflecting on what have been happening to Violet and me during our time in India and Nepal, I'll give you the snapshots of tales here and there to carry you with us as we go to our next adventure after India: Thailand.

Without much ado, here are the short tales:

Food Poisoning

Well, this illness is the shit. 

After hearing so many horror tales from friends about food/water poisoning in India, I told myself that, clearly, I was doomed to suffer the same fate while in India. 

However, after nearly six weeks in India, I started to imagine myself coming back to the United States bragging about making this far without succumbing to this dreaded illness.

Ha. 

I was wrong. Absolutely, stupidly, thoroughly wrong. Six weeks abroad were long enough to shake up my health.

I might be exaggerating, especially as my memories of other illnesses had sunk into near oblivion, but it must be the worst illness ever in my existence thus far. 

Okay, now that I'm really thinking about it, no, it's not the worst. It's terrible, horrifying, painful, and discomfortable, made worse by the fact that we were in a foreign land, arriving in a town we had only two minutes to become acquainted with before we rushed to find a hotel.

Violet began to feel it on the train and had to endure it overnight in the crowded coach.

I began to feel it as we went on a desperate search for a hotel that will offer Violet--and eventually me--some degree of comfort while we succumb completely to food poisoning.

We were very, very lucky in a way that our friend from Mumbai happened to be accompanying us at the time of our sudden illness. I shuddered just to imagine what it will take us to recover without his devoted nursing. 

On the other hand, he's not too lucky in a way that he's alone in being aware that we were recuperating next to the room where the British couple had been found dead from a drug overdose and that the police were swarming (yes, I totally turned this noun into a verb) outside our door for hours. 

Food poisoning or knowing what's out there? 

Your pick. 

Post-food poisoning life with my nurse

Gawkers

Eyes filled with pity. Eyes filled with lust. Eyes filled with curiosity.

Oceans of eyes. Seas of eyes. Worlds of eyes.

Eyes, eyes, eyes. 

I do not think I'll ever gawk at an animal in the zoo in the same way again.

Because I feel like an animal stuck in a zoo, my every single movement watched with fascination from Indians.

At first, I tried to shrug it off, pretending that I am a celebrity. 

But even celebrities have their limits with the paparazzi. I reached mine after returning from Nepal. 

I eat with a crowd peeking in. I talk with a crowd laughing. I read with a crowd pointing fingers. 

I lost my precious physical space, something I was prepared for when I first arrived in India, but my visual space?

NO

It is difficult not to assign too much value on their eyes and facial expressions, especially when my native cultural roots (RE: American Deaf Culture) have instilled in me this profound sensitivity to this sort of thing.  

It is exhausting to go through the day, bargaining with drivers, exploring the city, or even resting for five minutes, just to know that you will not have your desired space. You get what you get, period.

If you do not like it, well, too bad because you ask for it.

Like me, asking to go to India* to see what they can do to my precious limits. 

Ah, life do take your wishes so seriously sometimes. 

      Whisper your wishes into his ear

Blessed Respite

       No photo can truly capture the         
                essence of Nepal

Nepal.

A tiny birthland of Lord Buddha. Home to the world's highest peak, Mount Everest. 

And the place that calmed and claimed our hearts as soon as we arrived in Kathmandu.

Kathmandu in particular dazed us with its delicate yet powerful beauty, its cozy plazas and, for me, its comforting coldness. 

In our short time in Kathmandu, we met several wonderful and intriguing people whose tales, thoughts, and lives delighted us, surprised us and made us think.

In a small way, we felt like we were home just in time for autumn.

Yeah, that ode to homesickness.

And Nepal responded warmly to our ode, comforting our hearts and sending us back to the ever-changing India.

Small Victories

         Taj Mahal, Agra, India

Hey, hey, India is beautiful. Electrifying, unpredictable, and beautiful. This country has challenged me, frustrated me, tossed me around, and embraced me tighter than I was prepared for.

I've noticed that the more I force myself to mentally adjust my old perspective about what I am seeing right front of me (no easy task--it's like telling yourself that an apple in your hand is now an orange), the better I respond to it--and the better responses I get from others. 

There are numerous small victories throughout our journey that seem to suggest that Violet and I did something right somehow in our attempts to respond to situations and people around us. 

One small victory: Shutting down The Witch** in the coach with a series of Indian gestures I've picked up on the streets.

The coach was overcrowded to the point where we all had to squeeze in together on the floor. In spite of this obvious fact, The Witch demanded extra space to what was already large enough for herself. The man spoke up for her, probably wanting to stop listening to her complaints by resolving the matter on her behalf. He gestured to me to move further, which would mean I have to push dozens of children and their mothers into even tinier spots for themselves. 

No, I gestured to the man, hoping that my blue eyes would drive terror into his heart, no, no more space for her. We all are overcrowded over here and are already oversharing our space for her sake. No more space for her. No!

The matter was immediately dropped. Apparently, I did the Indian gestures right. 

The other small victory: Every time Violet and I manage to scare gawkers' eyes off by assertively challenging their eyes with our own eyes along with sharp gestures. We treasure every victory we earn. One of our most delightful victories occurred while we were returning to India from Nepal. 

Five young people sat themselves on a bus in a way that they can easily see us. Their mouths literally gapped open as they whispered and looked down and up at us for good ten minutes. 

Violet and I were exhausted from our sleepless night along with our long journey around the mountains. We were also getting impatient with the stares we were receiving. 

I snapped. 

Raising my sunglasses, I shot them the hardest glare I can muster as I gestured, "What?!?"

The result: for the entire ride, they carefully averted their eyes from us.
 
It was a rare occasion for us, and we were enthusiastic that we finally discovered a little trick to assert a bit of our space.

It is certainly a challenge to be a white female foreigner in India. I admire those who roam across India with perhaps more patience and better strategies than I have. 

However, I am also proud by how far Violet and I had gone in our journey: we have been to places unknown to many tourists, we have been riding on trains with so many individuals who tested our patience and who taught us tolerance, and especially that we are now surviving food poisoning in a country that will forever be a place to remember and to tell tales about. 

India is a place to see and to experience.

Well, that's it, folks. Tales will continue on as Violet and I fly to Bangkok, Thailand to head Far East. 

See you in Thailand! 

 Blessed in Thamel, Kathmandu, Nepal

*Note: I was told it will continue on in Southeast Asia, so it's definitely not an Indian thing. Furthermore, based on my experiences last year while backpacking across Eastern Europe with one of my best friends, who's Black, Europeans do gawk at those who don't appear European-like. Theory: the less racially diverse a nation is, the larger number of gawkers exist. Any contribution/debate to this theory pertaining to the existence of gawkers are eagerly welcomed. 
**That's just a nickname based on her appearance. No time to get friendly with her. We have Tobacco, Long Beard, and other nicknames for memorable strangers and acquaintances we've encountered. No intention to provoke anyone. It's just easier to remember them when we have something to describe them. 

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Hello and Bye


I wish I could take more time yakking away about how crazy, fantastic, cruel, inspirational, wild, simple, rough and beautiful life can be. 

Yet, as I've said in previous posts, time is constantly eluding me as I embrace every moment of exploring.

And wi-fi sucks in India. Hard to marvel or to rant about my journey when you have only two choices: more time online or more time offline.

And I found myself increasingly choosing to be offline and enjoying myself even more living off on the adrenaline of adventure. 

However, I am also constantly writing down my thoughts, many of them unfinished because I have so, so much to say and so, so much to think more about these thoughts. 

Isn't it funny how your thoughts are always in a process, forever endless and frequently changing? The very second a thought comes to pass, you immediately jump to the next thought that thinks about the previous thought and other thoughts that instanteously join in with this thought. 

Anyways, I am saving those thoughts until I find the right moment to finish them out.

Now, here is the summary of what's up with Violet and me lately:

We saw the sun rising and setting while visiting the very tip of India. The sun was like a fiery ball, looming above three seas that meet, as it rose. When it fell, it descended into the fog of the evening, unfortunately depriving us of the opportunity to witness its farewell. 

We survived a gruesome 30-hour train trip to Bangalore. I got into a public battle with an older woman over the seat I had claimed hours earlier; my claim to this seat remained firm after an hour of enduring her attempts to bully me out of my seat. The ride was a rather unnerving experience, especially as it was exacerbated by men's not-so discreet attempts to caress Violet and me. Fortunately, we learned to guard our bodies well and to straightforwardly slap their hands away while giving them furious glares. 

We slept on the shore of the world's second longest beach, Marina Beach. The moon was large and full and it was our lullaby until we closed our eyes and slept peacefully (okay, okay, I was vigilant enough to hold pepper spray close to myself as I dreamt pleasant dreams). 

And now we are in Calcutta (Kolkata) for a day, exploring reasons behind the city's nickname, "Paris of the East."

Calcutta, along with Gangtok in the northern state of Sikkim, will be our last two cities before we take a brief break from India by crossing the border into the mountainous nation of Nepal.

In meanwhile, here are the photos to make up for this rushy post: 

                    Varkala Beach

                     The sunrise 

                     The sunset

      Can I call this moonrise? Please? 

Ciao for now! 





Friday, October 3, 2014

The Patches of My Quilt


The longer we travel, the harder it gets to keep track of our stories.

Which story in which town? Did it happen yesterday or two days before? 

Did we go to Coorg before Ooty? How long or how brief had we been in that or this town? 

Did he say that or this? Did she just do this or that?

All I knew is that when I find myself remaining in one place for at least one week, long enough to reflect on how my life has grown, transformed and influenced, I will find a needle to sew all little patches of many stories together into one large quilt of the story. 

This quilt of the story will contain a patch of one of the worst days in our guru's life, the same day I trekked into the forest with two nice silver flip flops and crawled out hours later with one silver flip flop and one blue flip flop five sizes too big.


A patch of our harrowing bus trips on the mountains to visit Coorg and Ooty to witness thoroughly local life in these little towns and to practice our negotiating skills. 

A patch of us surviving eight sleepless hours on an overcrowded bus, thankful for our fortune of being on a kind of bus that have no windows. Without windows, we did not need to pinch our noses while one woman vomited out her dinner into the plastic bag right in front of us. 

So many patches awaiting for me to sew up into one fine quilt one day. 

As of this moment, all I can speak of is this incredible sense of feeling as if life is breathing into me, holding my hand as it presents me many situations to experience, many lessons to learn, and many stories to wonder at.

In Mumbai, life introduced me to the whole idea of India, breaking down all my old ideas and pushing me to give up some of my American habits. 

In Aurangabad, life introduced me to the notion of expressing myself in an instant. A surprising incident at the Ajanta caves allowed me to further examine the infinite possibility of being authentic to yourself in spite of others and the difficulty of balancing and maintaining your authenticity along with your desire to validate others' authenticity. 

All in all, it's all about navigating cultural differences and similarities. 

In Palolem, life introduced me to the physical side of living authentically. Baba urged us to eat healthy, to meditate quietly, and to love and to accept love in such a free, unrestrained way. 

All in all, it's all about embracing yourself wholeheartedly. 

In Coorg, life introduced me to the revelation that India reminds me of all the homes I've visited around the world. In India, I am seeing the United States, Argentina, Chile, France, and more. I am beginning to discover that everywhere you go, you are home at your heart.

In Ooty, life introduced me to my longing to belong to a place rich in diverse shades of green and blue. Uplifting, limitless sky. Gentle, whispering leaves. Calm, deep water. Earthly, rooted grass. Solid, wild mountains. My definition of home is in these shades of green and blue. 

All in all, it's all about the journey itself. 

And now, in Varkala Beach, what experiences, lessons, and stories will life introduce me to?

And how would they influence me? To what extent?

Many have debated whether traveling is our way to "find ourselves." Some argue it is utterly pretentious of us to "find" ourselves, especially when we are living through moments that will not come to pass while we are not traveling. Others insist that traveling purifies one's soul. Yet others favor the notion that traveling introduces you to the parts within yourself you've not encountered before.

For me, I think traveling is what you make it to be. If you wish to simply travel, you will simply travel. If you hope to purify your soul through traveling, you will seek out places to bring you peace. If you hope to explore the parts within yourself, you will find yourself exploring different places and situations.

Perhaps traveling is the mirror of our dreams and our wishes.

Is traveling the most authentic mirror we could ever find?

I don't know. Perhaps this question is the exact question I am striving to answer and am answering through traveling.